Thursday, December 4, 2014

Crazy Neighbor Stories

I don't remember if I've told you about crazy neighbor before.

She's crazy.

When I first met crazy neighbor we had probably lived in our apartment less than a week. I had just gotten out of the car after coming home from work. She was sitting on her patio. We introduced ourselves and she proceeded to insist that we had a kid. I said our niece had helped us moved in. She insisted she had heard a little boy. I said that the husband's voiced sounded younger. No, she insisted we had a little boy. I insisted that we didn't. I think I'd know if we had a kid.

One time crazy neighbor followed the husband to check the mail (he was checking the mail, she was just awkwardly following him). She told him that her birthday was coming up. He said "happy birthday." She said she wasn't looking forward to it. He had no idea what to say and walked away.

We have a cat. This was mentioned during my first conversation with crazy neighbor when I learned that she had a cat named Angel. During nice weather I'm often found either sitting or "gardening" on the balcony. Missy is usually found on the balcony with me. Crazy neighbor saw her and said "You didn't tell me you had a cat. I do, too. Her name is Angel. What's her name?" "Missy." Skip ahead a few weeks and reread the previous exchange. Skip ahead a few months and read it again. Basically, read it 5 times. That's how many times at this point crazy neighbor has discovered that we have a cat.

Our bedroom is above crazy neighbor's bedroom. A few months ago she started playing her worship music too loud in the mornings. How do I know it was worship music? Because it was that loud. I get up no later than  6 a.m. and it was usually playing by then. This included Saturday morning. The first week we let it go because it didn't really cut into our sleeping time too much due to our schedules. The next week, however, I knew I would have the chance to sleep in on Saturday. When her music played loudly Friday morning I was afraid I wouldn't get to sleep in the next day so the husband went down to talk to crazy neighbor and ask her to lower the volume. When he came back he said she was super apologetic and asked him not to tell management (they have a 2-strikes policy). Well, duh, that was the purpose of talking to her directly, to not get management involved. A few minutes later she knocked on our door to apologize again. She was really scared we'd tell management. I said not to worry about it, just keep it down. That was back in the spring. At least once a month she'll ask us if her volume is still okay.

Crazy neighbor decorates for Halloween at the beginning of September. I'm not kidding. Three years in a row. These decorations include a horrible large spider she hangs from the fake tree that sits on her patio all year long and window clings. The week of Halloween she adds Noah's Ark and the Easter Bunny window clings. This year she also taped up a piece of notebook paper with a drawing that she changed out every week. We could never quite tell what the drawing was, but one of them looked like an elephant.

We won 3rd place in our Halloween decorating contest. Management puts up a notice on their door and at the mailboxes to announce the winners. They also hang certificates on the winners' doors. We got home from work and got the certificate. A bit later crazy neighbor knocked on the door to tell us we'd won 3rd place. The husband thanked her and said that management had notified the winners with certificates. She left and we watched her cross the parking lot to go inform the other winners (who also already knew).

K, that's all. I'm sure I'll have more to share with you later.

1 comment: